What The Hell

So it has, yet again, been too long since I blogged on here about anything. Life changes in so many ways I am usually just trying to keep up. Now I am driving Over-The-Road (OTR) again. The company leave something to be desired but it is a job and so I am happy with that for now. I am considering purchasing my own rig, it is a thought. I am not sure if I will or not, I know that I will not do so while I am working at my present job since they do not have a lease-purchase program. If I decide to get my own rig then I will have to change companies to one that does have a lease-purchase program. I probably got some of you lost. A lease-purchase program allows a driver to purchase a rig of their own through the company that they are then leasing the truck to. The payments for the truck come right out of your settlement payment. It is a good way for someone that does not have good credit to get a truck of their own and become an Owner-Operator.

The title of this blog is WHAT THE HELL. The reason for this has to do with yet another man. Go figure, sometimes it seems like most of my blogs are connected to men in one way or the other. LOL. That is just me. In this case, I met someone a few weeks ago. Seemed like a good guy. He pursued me. Not something I am really use to but it made me feel good. He is also a truck driver, and works for the same company I do. This could be a good thing. He is the father of 5 girls. This I have no problem with. I love kids and would have had more of my own if I had had a spouse that would have stuck around and helped to provide for them. Well and if I had not had to have c-sections with each pregnancy.

So him and I talked on the phone daily, we text'd back and forth many many times a day. He went home cause there was a problem at home with his oldest daughter. He told me ahead of time that he was going to take the girls camping and would probably be out of communication for a while. Ok no problem...his daughters come first...this is a good thing. Well he got home on a Friday night/Saturday morning and I got a message from him that Sunday. He said he missed me. Hell I miss talking to him too. We text back and forth for a while and I asked him on which day he "claimed me". His answer was to ask me when I agreed to it. Hell right away I said. I get back an "LOL Love You. So I answer "Love you too" I get an instant response of "Hmmmmm Love hearing that" then nothing. And I do not mean for a day or two. Tomorrow will be 3 fucking weeks since I have heard from him. His co-driver has no idea what is going on either. In the last 3 weeks that he has been home the co-driver has only talked to him once and then just last weekend to tell the co-driver that he would not be able to come out this week. And nothing. Not a word. He is not answering texts or phone messages. From either of us. Sometimes when I call he sends me to voice mail sometimes it just rings until it goes there on its own. I feel like shit and am sick and tired of guys that do not have the decency to at least tell you why they seem to have changed their minds about you. Grow some balls guys and stand up and be a man.